I must admit – school was never my “favourite place” when I was younger.
I loved to learn, I loved seeing how well I could do – but I had a hard time there.
There was a lot going on in my life – I struggled to work out “my place” and I had low self esteem.
I was being bullied – both by students and a teacher (whom I had previously looked up to).
It seemed to be all about “popularity” and what “looked good”. I never was one to wear make up, fashionable clothes or go out to the “parties” that everyone went to. I was reading, programming my computer or breeding my pet birds to sell (my little business when I was a kid).
Many of these people I honestly had no desire to see again once I left school.
I remember running into “that teacher” a year after school and deliberating changing the path I was walking to avoid him. I felt like crap for days as memories of him calling me names and putting me down resurfaced in my mind.
I had friends and “school acquaintances” that I grew away from – for various reasons – from the minor (simply following different paths in life and losing touch) to the “major disaster” style separations (finding a “so called friend” in bed with my partner at the time).
Needless to say I had to sort myself out after dealing with these bumps along the way.
I essentially started my life over after that period in my life.
I made space to just “be” and started saying No to what everyone else wanted and saying Yes to what I wanted and needed at the time.
I made numerous mistakes – I openly admit this, but I became the real “me”.
I developed new friends, new hobbies, new relationships and (having worked through my personal relationship “issues”) eventually married a man I happily call my “best friend” (and “stirrer”) as well as lover. I became confident in who I was as a person – and many of my values and beliefs changed over time.
I am no longer who I was at school and never will be again.
I am still in touch with a few people from school – but these are only the select ones that I feel to be worth their weight in gold and those who have grown along the journey with me. These are ones that accept me for who I am – no matter what I do and are strong enough to both question my actions and accept my decisions (regardless of whether they personally agree with them).
That’s the thing – I don’t need a school reunion to re-connect with the people that matter.
I am still in contact with those who mean something to me.
Whilst I don’t believe that seeing others that I went to school with would hurt anymore – I feel it not to be the best use of my time or energy. I have moved on and I have a lot to do.
I honestly can’t see what I would achieve by going to the school reunion. Relive some old memories?
Given where I am today – both the cost of time and money would need to be considered.
The fact is I need all my time and money right now to build my dream, my future. Every dollar, every minute brings me one step closer to where I want to be.
I choose to say No to re-living my past, and say Yes to putting more energy into building the future.
If anyone from school is reading this – I simply wish you well in your endeavours and trust that you will also look forward to a bright future of your own.